After an almost unbearable silence, the drone holding Ios hovers over and projects herself onto a spot next to the cuddling form of Akiko and I. “Well, this party got pooped.” The blue holographic silhouette jokes out, everyone sending her a sideways glance before she coughs and says much more seriously, “Tough crowd~. Aims, and the rest of you, I don’t think we should be worried about Sandra. If Raphiel wanted to take over once she woke up, she would have done so with merely a thought given Sandra’s state. It’s not like what you experienced when we were talking about this before, honey. You had a solid foundation, your own will and memories that would need to contest with the Empress in that hypothetical situation. Sandra arguably still has barely any of that right now, so even cracking that door open would have been enough.
The fact that whoever is supporting Sandra, if it is Raphiel or not, has chosen not to do so only means that they likely don’t want to. Or, at least, they are waiting. Please, feel free to tell me if I’m wrong though.” Ios ends with a small gesture to everyone; Sam, Gerra, and Jun Li all looking down toward their food as Akiko hums in thought.
“I think,” the snowy haired kitsune begins softly, “that your estimate is likely correct, my friend. I was beginning to come to the same conclusion myself, although the anxious worry that still bleeds through from our dear Amelia prompts me to continually consider alternatives.” She pauses as she looks over to me, using a tined fork to spear a piece of poultry toward my face which I reluctantly take a bite of as the blush furrows across my features.
“The soul is a tricky thing.” She continues in a loving tone as she looks down to me, “It can wither and die like any part of the body given enough dereliction. But it is strong, vibrant. To truly contest with even a wounded soul without its permission, an entity would need tremendous power. I know in your mind, love, that this is likely a poor balm at the moment. Knowing that whoever suited your past life was likely also a deity level cultivator or higher, someone who could absolutely bring about such changes that we are postulating. But given that your Empress has stated multiple times that this is not the desired outcome, I wager to say that the same extends to Raphiel, given how connected they were in their time.”
She pauses to let me eat another bite before adding on, “I agree with spirit Ios. If this Raphiel wished, she could have already taken over your sister’s place in the fabric of life, but seemingly she hasn’t. I know you have spoken recently to trying to navigate the waters of cultivation in general on your own, to which I am oh so proud of you for, but in this instance, I believe you should ask the Empress yourself. If only to fully alleviate your worries.” The gorgeous woman finishes, offering another bite of food that I more eagerly take as I ponder her words.
The rest of the girls begin chatting amongst themselves, but the atmosphere is off. Their hushed tones talking of the banalities of the day only driving the wound deeper inside me before I reluctantly wiggle and free myself from Akiko’s grasp. “I’m sorry.” I apologize as I stand up, looking out to the assorted members of the best people I’ve ever known, “I didn’t mean to make the night awkward for you guys.” My voice apologetic despite multiple quick replies rising to deny my claim before I just raise a hand. “It’s okay, I know you don’t see it like that and I love you all for it. But… I think I just want to be alone for the moment. I’m sorry.”
Not a word is spoken as I go around and give a soft kiss to everyone’s forehead, concerned eyes trailing my departure as I slide past the double doors with the drone barely a step behind me. Once we’re around a corner, Ios springs back to life as she ‘walks’ beside me. “You shouldn’t shut them out like that, honey. They’re worried about you.” She says out in an understanding tone, even her fake eyes leaving scorching imprints on my soul as we walk.
“I know.” I simply reply, the emotional weight too heavy to explain further as I march resolutely towards the bedroom with one goal in mind. We pass the time in silence, Ios never leaving my side as we strut along the empty, dark hallways of the estate. We finally come across our destination, me sliding the door and holding it open for the drone before closing it behind us, my thoughts turbulent and echoing the purpose that I know I must do now.
“I’m going to go talk to the Empress.” I say out with conviction as I sit on the bed and start disrobing, “Don’t know how long I’ll be in there. Did you get a handle on what I’d need for dream stuff? I don’t want to leave Sandy alone for too long.” My voice is heavy and almost dissociative, hollow. Purpose lost amongst the sea of swirling thoughts and emotions. I feel a spectral hand lay across mine as her projection mirrors intent.
“Aims, sweetheart, it’s okay to be scared, but I’m worried you’re taking this too far. We can still go back to the others to -“
“To what Ios?!” I bark out with tears in my eyes, the dam already leaking and threatening to come apart as she just looks at me with concern and love while my voice hiccups. “I’m not going to ruin their night because of this. If I went back there, the entire dinner would be nothing but us talking in circles amongst ourselves the whole fucking time! Nothing would get done, and all I would have achieved is making everyone sad and scared and worried about me, about Sandra! I’m not going to do that to them if it means that I just have to shoulder the burden for a few minutes and figure out a solution!”
Ios doesn’t offer a word back, studying me intently for a few moments before she cups my face in one of her hands and breaks the silence. “Amelia. You’re crashing out over this, letting that damn martyr complex of yours come back to the surface. Everyone at that table loves you, wants nothing more than to be a pillar of support for you. It’s okay to rely on others, even if it hurts.”
“I KNOW!!” I sob back, the tears careening down my face as my voice breaks, “I know it is! But I don’t want to do that to them when I can just have the answer so easily! It’s stupid, and selfish, and arrogant to drag them through the mud for something that I can just think about and solve! And fuck you! I don’t have a martyr complex; I just want the people I love to be happy more than anything!” A ghostly hand wipes away the soul space tears, doing nothing for the physical ones sadly as she keeps that loving, yet concerned gaze upon me.
“Aims, what you said is literally a main component of a martyr complex. You took intro to psychology in college, you know this.” A soft press of lips reaches mine as I shudder out a sob one last time, breaking away before she looks back and says in a defeated tone, “I’m with you, whatever you want to do. But I am worried. Akiko is worried. The girls are worried. You owe it to them to find an answer to those worries, regardless of what you do next. Okay?”
I nod weepily into her hand still cupping my cheek, her projection blinking out as her soul avatar does the same and leaves me to my meditations. I sniffle a few times, gathering back my senses before stripping off the last pieces of clothing and laying naked on the bed, coiling the blankets in self-bondage for comfort. I focus and, in an instant, I am brought back to the flow model, its machinery silent and prismatic bridge alight with the slow and steady feed. I sigh before drawing my attention inwards once again, keeping the anxious and angry energy at bay as I manifest what is surely going to be a… contentious discussion.
After a few moments a loud gong ripples across space and time, my eyes flashing open to take in the ever-regal golden throne atop an impossibly long marble staircase, purple banners and tapestries trimmed in yellow waving in an unseen breeze. There at the seat of power a figure that is increasingly familiar rests, her golden white crowned head resting on a crooked hand as her flaming white bonfire eyes regard me, small pinpricks of a pupil visible for the first time. I let loose all of my restrained emotions, the red and fire dancing behind me and mixing with the cautious uncertainty of blue and black.
“Raphiel.” I say out angrily, a soul white scythe appearing in my hand, “What is she doing to Sandra.” The entire space behind me ruptures in cracks and fissures of reality, the wind changing course and fluttering the banners in the new flow of the breeze as the Empress’ hair follows suit, her eyes narrowing slightly to my accusation.
“Calm yourself, Amelia.” She says softly, however her words hit like a mountain and nearly snuff out all of the raging and turbulent emotions raging inside of me. I grit my teeth, the anger and rage taking on a deeper maroon hue as my knees buckle under her pressure. “Sandra is safe and well cared for under Raphiel’s grace, if she has awoken like you assume. No harm will come to her, I can assure you of that.”
I glare back up to the resting monarch, my fury unabated and heavy as I shakily stand back up, “Sandra is still too weak. If Raphiel is influencing her then you need to tell her to stop. If you truly want the both of us to live our new lives that is.” I say out accusingly, the uncertainty of black and blue further feeding into the roaring fire around and behind me.
The Empress studies me for a second with ever narrowing eyes from her perch before appearing directly in front of my face, her form vast and incomprehensible as the screams of the dead echo in the silence of the void. “I am not beholden to your whims, Amelia. I am here to aid you and help you find your footing amongst a new life, but I shall not be treated like a servant you can ordain orders to.” Wails of discordant loss and sorrow scream into my mind, her eyes blazing down to me in bonfires of white as I nearly drop the scythe in my hand, the other coming to cradle my throbbing head.
The cries echo inside my mind, all resounding and transforming into Sandra as she pleads for help. Begs me to save her. Reaches for me with out-stretched arms. Again, my feet find themselves under me as my now flaming ruby red eyes glare back to the Empress. Anger, hate, and bloodlust borne from protection of the thing I hold most dear enveloping my form. “You will. Tell Raphiel. To stop.” I say out as the ground quakes beneath me, the Empress showing no signs of discomfort or dismay as the pitch-black void becomes bathed in an explosion of blood.
[Berserker Intent level 1] has upgraded to [Berserker Intent level 2]!
With a flash of motion, I vault towards the mountainous form of the Empress, ruby tinted streamlines following behind every windbreak of my form as my eyes alight in power. The Empress sighs as she moves her hand, the barest tip of her finger coming down to block my overhead strike with the scythe with ease, forcing me off balance since the bladed end is still behind me.
In a tumble, I struggle to right myself before she shrinks down to a normal human height, probably 5’8 or so and leisurely waits for my impact below. My teeth nearly crack as I shift my momentum, the flare of anger rising through my core once more as I twirl in midair and try again for another slam of the scythe. She moves back a scant few inches, the blade impacting the floor of the arena with a thunderous crash that sends scarlet lightning bolts between the cracked fissures of the surface and out toward the air.
In a madness fueled dash, I twirl and lash the blade out to her, the smaller form ducking underneath the singing metal before she places a hand on my ribs and says, “[Impact]“. In a series of pops and snaps, my ribcage shatters under the skill’s effect, bodily tossing me into the void as the searing pain nearly overwhelms me. I cry out on instinct, the reds momentarily shifting to blue before alighting again as I raise my head up and roll my body with the tumble of momentum.
In a recovering slide, I right myself back, my sides and core screaming in agony as I glare back to the Empress, soul-blood stained hair sticking to my face. “It is folly.” She says confidently, her hands crossing behind her back as she watches me, “You are in my space as a guest. You cannot beat me here no matter how much you try. If you would calm yourself, I would explain the situation regarding Sandra further.”
Images of Sandra suffering filter across my mind as I heave shuddered breath. Being hurt and autopsied by Raphiel. Her being withered away. Her being taken from me.
[Berserker Intent level 2] has upgraded to [Berserker Intent level 3]!
“[MOONLIGHT BODY STRENGTHENING] [UNENDING FLOW OF THE RIVER]!” I scream out as a tornado of violence erupts around me, its vermillion winds wicked and sharp as my body stitches itself back together. The Empress frowns slightly before letting loose a small sigh, her feet beginning to trek her forward to my outraged form.
I meet her before she even takes a third step, the space around me shattering in the cracking of glass as I swipe the scythe right toward her head, space and time slightly distorting with every flex of muscle. Once more she merely moves the faintest of touches to avoid the strike as it whistles past her, the blades arc sending a flare of destructive energy careening off into the void, her flaming eyes never leaving mine as I tumble past and go to right myself for another attempt. Before I can even get back to my stance though, she appears before me with her own break of reality, winding up and sending a fist downwards to me that holds nothing but death.
In a panicked flash of fear, I reform the scythe into a shield, her fist impacting it like the hammer of the gods, a loud bell sounding out from the strike as I’m sent cartwheeling from the collision. Over and over I turn, the momentum and anger fading with ever toss and tumble before I eventually land on my back with wheezing breaths, white soul avatar blood trickling out of nearly every nook and cranny of my skin. Heavy and authoritative footfalls approach, monarchal weight behind them before the long raven black hair of the Empress dangles in front of her face as she looks down towards me.
“Impressive, but not nearly enough. Have you calmed yourself to the point of explanation now, Amelia?”
With a pained groan, I simply turn my head and huff, the last traces of ruby fading from the space as the Empress picks me up and carries me over to her throne.
