Charles packs his bag, swearing, “fucking hell.” He stuffs his uniforms and his towel into his bag. He looks around the spacious room with a large bed and a desk with a dresser and a small 2-foot-across window looking down at earth far below.
He limps to the airlock. ‘I don’t need this fucking job,’ he thinks. “I am going to take the shuttle down right now and go work for the Russians or the Vatican. They both need trained astronauts. I bet I can get better pay too.”
He hits the button to cycle the airlock. The vacuum fluorescent display shows “Dock Empty.” He looks through the little porthole and can see the heartland of America far below. “Fucking hell,” he shouts. He starts to hyperventilate but pulls himself back into control. “I am Charles. I am fantastic. I am great. I am the best. Everyone loves me.”
He presses the cycling button again in the vain hope the shuttle reappeared in the time it took him to get himself back together. He looks through the window again at the empty dock. “What the hell? I am the only pilot,” he says. He can see his own reflection in the window, the double black eye looking worse than when he checked it earlier. He turns and walks to reception.
“Marvin, where did the shuttle go?” He asks the man behind the counter.
“To earth,” Marvin says matter-of-factly.
“Without me?” Charles asks.
“Without you,” Marvin responds.
“How am I supposed to go down?” Charles asks, swinging his bag around like a lunatic.
“That’s not a me problem seeing as how you are no longer an employee of the Ranch. Also, you are no longer a guest,” Marvin says, spraying glass cleaner on the fine marble of the reception desk.
“FINE, I will rent a room,” Charles says, tossing a handful of credits onto the granite countertop.
Marvin sneers up at him. “The rooms are all booked.” Marvin wipes the credits onto the floor, the pristine look of his counter restored.
“What by whom?” Charles asked, ‘It must have been Jack,’ he thinks to himself, ‘but with the festival happening soon, who knows?’ He bends down, picking up the credits.
“I am afraid it is not motel policy to talk about clients,” Marvin says, his expression going from sneering to simple boredom.
“So what am I supposed to do?” the exopathic human asks the receptionist. He has a deep and growing frustration at the fact he can’t influence the receptionist; he has tried before, and it’s like there is nothing there, not even a glimmer, just an emptiness.
Marvin makes a show of pulling a note out from under the desk. “I was aware you would ask this question, so I inquired with Mr. Harrington before he left.”
“And?” Charles says, biting his tongue, trying to keep his cool.
Marvin clears his throat. “And I quote, ‘Get Fucked.’ I asked for clarification, but he didn’t want to elaborate,” Marvin says.
“You can’t just strand me here,” Charles says, slamming a fist on the desk.
“Oh, about the here part, you’re not an employee or a guest, so you need to leave the parking lot; you’re trespassing,” Marvin says calmly and flatly.
“Go where and how? What, are you crazy?” Charles, the ex-astronaut, asks.
“You can always walk home,” Marvin says with a grin, his hand precisely miming the walking motion.
“You do realize we are in space, right?” Charles says loudly, loud enough to get the attention of Auntie, her large tentacles wrapped around the hull of the parking lot. She flashes a series of colors in a wave across her body to her niece.
Charles raises his voice even louder. “I demand you get Jack on the line right now!” He screams, “When I get back to Earth, I am going to tell the world about your crackerjack operation.”
“Oh, really?” Marvin says with a laugh, his finger hovering over the security button, “You think you’re going to blow the lid on our fine establishment, and what do you think? They will let you live?”
“Let’s see them try to silence me!” Charles shouts.
The airlock door opens, and the blue tentacle alien walks out. She glides gracefully across the floor, stopping behind Charles and tapping him on the shoulder. “I hear you need a ride?”
Charles turns around, ready to yell at security, and is surprised to see it’s an unconventionally beautiful alien.
Charles smiles. ‘Fine, she will love me and take me wherever I want to go.’ He reaches out to touch the alien, but it’s like touching a brick. “Uh, yeah,” he says, his confidence crushed like his testicles. “if you could”
“Be happy to help; I have heard so much about you lately,” she grins.
“Where are you going?” Charles asks with his eyes drawn to the floor anywhere but meeting the gaze of the alien.
A voice in his head echoes Izzy’s words: ‘You are the worst in bed; you are awful; your cum tastes like shit; you are the worst lover; your dick is below average, and your man bun is dumb.’
“Anywhere you want,” she says with a smile, taking his hand. “If you want, we can have sex before we go.”
Charles chews it over for a second before he flips Marvin off and walks away toward the alien ship.
They enter the ship. “Yeah, sex sounds great, but you have never shown any interest in me; why now?”
The alien smiles. “Oh, I heard a story about you recently. I thought you might be fun. So did Auntie.” She leads him to her bed and strips naked. She frowns when he doesn’t look at her body, her skin flashing a dull gray. “Care to join me?” she says, using her best human impersonation.
Charles takes off his clothes. Normally he is the most confident lover; after all, he is the greatest. But when he takes his pants off, he isn’t hard. His testicles are throbbing dully, but that has never stopped him before now. “What is going on?” He looks down at his cock, disappointed.
The blue-skinned alien looks Charles over. “Oh, so Jacob was right; humans are not very large,” she says and chuffs softly.
Charles gets a flustered look on his face, and he reaches down for his clothes. “How dare you! Do you know who I am?” he shouts.
“Oh well, yes, I do; you are Charles the astronaut, the one who hurt my friend. He is all yours, Auntie,” the blue-skinned alien says with a sigh, rolling onto her back and looking out the window of the alien ship, wondering what Jacob is doing right now.
Charles turns around. “What? Where is this Auntie?”
The walls tear apart under his feet, and Charles falls into a maw made out of silicone tendrils. Auntie flashes lights that make the blue alien laugh.
“Oh Auntie, you’re so funny. I mean, it is a shame to waste food, even if it tastes bad,” she chuffs softly.
Later…
Marvin looks out the main window of the parking lot, the armada of ships slowly growing. Marvin cleans the glass with a paper towel, obsessing over a small speck on the glass. A man bun slides across the outside of the window, causing the receptionist to lurch back in shock.
