Mirnda was thirty years old and still hadn’t found a man she truly loved. She was also still a virgin, something she had always wanted to save for the right person. However, one drunken night, she ended up in bed with Karan.
Mirnda regretted that decision deeply. She had always dreamed that her first time would be with someone she loved, but now that moment was gone. Two years passed, and at 32, she was still alone. Her desires grew stronger, and simply satisfying herself wasn’t enough anymore. Eventually, she decided to become “friends with benefits” with Karan since already did with him, and she trusted him, and hope to develop into marriage.
That arrangement lasted for three years, but over time, Mirnda realized there was no future with Karan. She knew it wasn’t love, and she wanted more out of life. So, she ended the relationship and moved on.
Later, she met Jack’s father, Usma He wasn’t her ideal partner—not even close—but at 35, she felt her chances of finding someone were slipping away. Usma seemed like a good man, and he was the only viable option left. So, she married him, knowing full well that he had a son.
At first, things were great. Usma was loving, attentive, and good-looking. Jack himself was sweet, and though he never called her “Mom,” she came to care for him as if he were her own child. At the time, she never saw him as anything more than a stepson.
As their marriage progressed, Mirnda began to love Usma deeply. But one thing she hadn’t expected was his refusal to have a child. Before their marriage, she had made it clear that she wanted at least one child. He had agreed at the time, but two years into their marriage, he outright refused.
Mirnda was heartbroken. Having a child was one of her dreams, but when she tried to discuss it, he threatened to divorce her if she got pregnant. With no choice but to accept his decision, Mirnda buried her desire for a child. She told herself that Jack could fill that void, and for a while, that was enough.
But things took another turn. Usma began working out of town more and more. It started with a few days, then stretched to weeks, and eventually months. She felt abandoned. She could have accepted the occasional trip, but this was too much. Before their marriage, she had made him promise that they would spend most of their time together as a family. He broke that promise too.
When she confronted him, he assured her it was temporary and that he would soon stay home for good. So, she waited. But as time passed, his attitude toward her changed. He became cold, dismissive, and disrespectful, even making hurtful comments in front of others.
Mirnda began to question her marriage. She worked a full-time job, cooking, laundry, cleaning and all housechores, and took care of Jack, yet she felt unappreciated. Her patience ran out when she discovered Usma was cheating on her.
Heartbroken and furious, Mirnda decided she wanted a divorce. However, she resolved to wait until Jack graduated high school. She still loved him like her own son and wanted to support him during last year of high school.
During this period, Mirnda found herself feeling lonely and vulnerable. Jack was a handsome young man, and she began to feel an attraction she knew was wrong. She convinced herself it was just physical need—nothing more. To distract herself, she went out drinking with coworker one evening and decided to spend the night with him, a longtime friend she trusted.
But when her coworker touched her thighs, it didn’t feel right. She felt disgusted and called the whole thing off. That night, Mirnda realized that her feelings for Jack weren’t just about loneliness or physical desire. She loved him—but not as a mother should love her son.
When Jack got a girlfriend, Mirnda was consumed by jealousy. She felt abandoned and even more isolated. She thought Jack would comfort her after learning about his father’s cheating, but he didn’t. Days passed, and he didn’t say a word.
Feeling completely alone, Mirnda finally divorced Usma and moved back to her home city to start over. She decided she wasn’t ready for a relationship. She was 40 now, and no one seemed to meet her emotional needs.
Mirnda accepted that she might never find love. She resolved to live her life on her own terms. If someone came along, she would welcome it. If not, she would carry on, content with her independence.
It wasn’t the life she had dreamed of, but it was hers. And that was enough.
