I’m momentarily stunned by the sight of Guren and Kimimaro standing before us. This arc wasn’t supposed to be so difficult! We even rushed in the night of Sasuke’s capture to try and force a conclusion before Kimimaro entered the field.
However… capturing Tayuya early must’ve tipped Orochimaru off that the caliber of Genin in Konoha had changed. I see that now. He probably contacted Guren weeks ago (in the Anime, it’s revealed in a flashback she was late to the party, unable to serve as his next vessel due to tardiness) to replace Tayuya and make sure the snake gets the Sharingan this time.
Then, seeing the rest of the Sound ninjas probably weren’t up to the task, Kimimaro must have come out of his hospice deathbed retirement for one last mission.
This is bad. There’s so much more I wish we could’ve done to prepare, but we’re out of time.
“Earth Release Barrier: Earth Prison Dome of Magnificent Nothingness!”
Jirobo slams his palms on the ground, upheaving the forest floor in a line toward us as a rock dome swallows our party. We try to scatter to avoid the capture technique, but the speed and encapsulating volume of the erected barrier are too much too quickly.
“Mirror, now!” Tenten shouts, creating a floating Ice Crystal Mirror for us to either hop atop or let the Ice users and their Amalgam companions slip inside. There’s just barely enough room on the surface for the rest of us to stand on.
I briefed my team on the enemy’s known jutsu prior to the start of the battle and gave them my best guesses on how to counter the techniques with our skillset. I had not anticipated Guren showing up, even in my previous worst-case scenario. However, I correctly assumed a key workaround to Jirobo’s earthen prison—his ability to drain and consume chakra only works if you’re contacting the rock wall of the container directly. We’re safe on this floating platform, for now.
“Shino-chan, who is that blue-haired woman?” Sakura wonders.
“One sec,” I whisper, pushing my ears and Byakugan to the limit while attempting to hear the enemy’s conversation or read their lips.
“Everything alright, Jirobo-kun?” the white-haired man in lavender robes asks. “You look perturbed.”
“They’re mine, don’t you worry, Kimimaro-kun!” That’s Jirobo, the big guy with three tufts of orange hair like a triple mohawk. “These snacks are a bit hard to digest, but they can’t levitate forever—I have larger chakra reserves.” He’s right about that. There’s no way Tenten can maintain the floating mirror long enough to outlast his Senjutsu chakra even with Kin and Fubuki’s assistance.
“Fine,” Kidomaru, the spider-themed ninja with six arms says with a nod, “Devour ‘em while we go on ahead, then, right Kimimaro-kun?”
“Indeed. We can’t waste time here and risk additional forces intercepting us. We’ll be on our way, and you can prove yourself a capable Sound shinobi by rejoining us, if you can.” The condescending look he gives the big guy makes the others shiver.
Guren steps forward, her green kimono billowing in the breeze, “Tch. I could end this in an instant.”
I hope not! If I’m right about the timeskip, we’re potentially years away from her being at Three-Tails’ Appearance arc levels of full-strength like in the Anime. Honestly, that’s our only saving grace since that version of Guren almost fought the fully manifested Three-Tailed Beast to a draw!
Kimimaro frowns back at her. “Your jutsu would destroy Jirobo-kun’s in the process, giving the enemy a precious second to escape or counterattack before it crushes them. Do not forget the mission. Our objective is to bring the target to Orochimaru-sama, not to squash a handful of insignificant Genin.”
Their pragmatist leader shows his authority, making the other members of the Sound Five fall in line. They depart with Sasuke’s coffin and leave us in Jirobo’s hands.
“Are we just supposed to sit up here and do nothing, dattebayo?” Naruto, the least patient of us with the most to lose, asks.
“My ass is getting cold,” Naruko complains while sitting on the frozen mirror.
“The enemy is leaving with Sasuke-kun,” Hinata reports.
“What?!?” Naruto shouts before making to hop off the ice platform, but Sakura catches him by the collar.
“Damnit, hold on, knucklehead. Shino-chan, what’s the plan?”
To answer her question, if in a roundabout manner, I first give them a rundown of Guren’s abilities. Crystal Release is an earth-based Kekkei Genkai, which means it counters water-based Kekkei Genkai like Wood and Ice Release (this is no more or less than a plain fact based on the Naruto universe’s elemental rock-paper-scissors system), explaining why it dunked on my girls’ techniques so hard. We need to adjust our plans and rearrange things a bit to counter the addition of Guren to the enemy forces.
Now that we’re facing the Hard Mode Sound Five, our strategy will basically be the same as in the Anime. We need to assign the minimum force necessary to counter and defeat each member of the opposing squad without taking casualties. We can’t stay together as a team to tackle Jirobo together because he can turtle with the Earth Release: Hidden Mole Jutsu or harass us from behind if we all flee. We need someone to occupy him while the rest of us escape.
With our plan set in stone, we identify a weak point in the Earth Prison Dome technique with shuriken (the walls repair themselves from damage at different rates depending on their distance from Jirobo). Then we bombard that area with a Sakura bone punch and double Rasengan—busting our way out.
“So, you broke free of my barrier ninjutsu… that’s pretty good for a bunch of Genin.” I don’t bother answering. The next few seconds are a scramble to collect what we need and flee. Jirobo singles out Fubuki/Kin as the weak link to attack. “Arhat Fist: Shoulder Charge!”
The sumo-looking bastard lunges toward my lover with a powerful tackle. Everyone else is busy fleeing in different directions except—
“Go, Tsurukame!” A huge turtle-shaped shield appears in a puff of smoke to block the blow, allowing the Ice duo to escape while Tenten is pushed away. Except, instead of skidding to a stop on her heels, Tenten hops back with the imparted momentum and lands on the underside of the shield—which hovers in place thanks to Magnet Release. She then unseals Dako from a tiny scroll she whips out of a pocket and brandishes the serpentine spear at Jirobo, “I’ll be your opponent!”
“Will Tenten be alright?” Naruko wonders aloud while looking back over her shoulder.
We’re leaping through the trees in formation, one comrade left behind to defeat the enemy on her own. It’s a calculated risk; we can’t spare more than a single combatant for Jirobo with Guren and Kimimaro in play.
Bone Pulse Sakura is strong, but not second-stage Jirobo strong before completing her training with Tsunade. Fubuki and Kin might be deadly, but I need their Chakra Armor for another purpose, leaving them grounded and vulnerable against the Earth Release brute. Karin doesn’t have the attack or defense necessary, and I’m saving Hinata for later. It was either me or Tenten, and I’m needed for the Guren fight.
“She’ll be fine. Sakura-chan, let me ride you. Secret Technique: Insect Cocoon!” I say as I merge with Sakura below the waist, leaving my upper body exposed while my bugs wrap me in thread, creating the eponymous cocoon. This technique leaves me totally immobile for the duration, and I need to spend every second possible in this thing to ensure our success later.
See, normally, my insects are totally useless against Crystal Release. Anything physical, organic or inorganic, is subject to being crystallized by that technique. Guren can capture ninjas or animals with a flick of her wrist in a thick, hard gemstone shell that causes their contents to shatter when exposed to even a light breeze. There’s an exception, though…
In the Anime, which is a given since Guren is a ‘filler arc’ character, the original Shino noticed something after a skirmish with the Crystal Release user. A small number of his insects displayed a resistance to the Crystal Imprisonment Wave! He selectively bred the resistant specimens and figured out through trial and error how to coat the insects in chakra to achieve full immunity. But that required a lot of time on his part—time that he had to spend in seclusion.
The Insect Cocoon technique is the method we of the Aburame clan use to accelerate the breeding of our insects to replenish their numbers or selectively breed a desired strain. However, it’s a chakra-intensive technique and makes us vulnerable to attack until the jutsu is completed. Riding on Sakura should mitigate both of those drawbacks, though I won’t be able to assist in the next few battles. I barely had time to snag some of the surviving resistant insects I found amid the crystalized corpses of my bug swarm thanks to my Sharingan’s acuity and Byakugan’s field of vision in the scramble after escaping Jirobo’s earthen prison. Luckily, one of them was a female insect with eggs ready to hatch.
Hopefully, I already gave my girls everything they need to win, and this gamble pays off. I’m going to have to speedrun Anime-Shino’s route to victory!
Minutes later, our group finally catches up with the enemy once again.
“They’re hot on our tail, again. Did they defeat Jirobo-kun?” Kidomaru asks.
Fuck impersonating Jirobo to sneak in close under their guard, I don’t want any of my girls getting surrounded by Guren and Kimimaro! Those two are hardcore and might kill Jirobo for being slow or stupid or because they’re in a bad mood even if they believed the disguise.
“No, see how they’re missing one? They sacrificed a pawn to continue,” Kimimaro responds.
Naruto shouts his objection back at our quarry, “We didn’t sacrifice anyone! Tenten-chan is going to win and catch up with us! Then, you’re fucked!”
“What’s the suspicious one with the dark glasses up to?” Sakun wonders while glaring at me in my cocoon. “Hey, bug girl, that’s our Kekkei Genkai!”
Kidomaru scoffs, “It doesn’t matter, lol. They’re just going to die.”
“Allow me to crush them,” Guren offers, forming her iconic Jade Crystal Blade on one arm. “I’ll make it hurt.”
“Come on, Guren-chan, let me show off a little! They’re just level-one mobs,” Kidomaru begs as he tosses Sasuke’s casket to Sakon and drops out of their ranks to oppose us.
“Let him, Guren-chan. Remember, focus on the mission. Leave them to their fate.” The remaining Sound Three make off with Sasuke’s casket while we deal with this guy.
“Ninja Art: Spiral Web Net!”
The six-armed ninja spits a huge spiderweb at us that unfurls to block our path as we approach. We were already leaping toward it when he countered, landing ourselves unavoidably on the sticky threads.
““Help, I’m stuck!”” Naruto and Naruko yelp in unison while struggling to flail about with their arms and legs. “Why can’t I cut them?” Naruko asks as her kunai fails to sever the threads.
“Shadow Clone Jutsu!” Naruto tries, but the clones he creates are instantly stuck fast as well.
“My spider threads are so strong, even two elephants pulling in opposite directions can’t break them!” Kidomaru boasts. How oddly specific of him. “Look at all these lovely targets! Like shooting fish in a barrel… Ninja Art: Sticky Gold Weaponry – Kunai!” He draws a different type of gooey silk from his mouth that hardens into six spikey metallic kunai upon exposure to the air. “Let’s play: Which one is real? First contestant, you on the left.” Kidomaru throws a golden silk kunai at a Shadow Clone stuck in his web, popping the Naruto. “Alright, this time two at once!” Another two Naruto’s vanish. “You’re so damn lucky! Ready for the big finale?”
Before he can continue, the rest of us break free simultaneously.
“Gentle Fist!”
“Gentle Fist!”
“Gentle Fist!”
“Gentle Fist!”
Hinata and I familiarize ourselves with the target and begin easily cutting through the threads binding us with our Gentle Fist technique. I told everyone beforehand the spiderweb’s durability comes from the chakra circulating through the threads. It’s possible to cut through them with any chakra-emitting jutsu, but the Hyuga technique works especially well. Sakura and Kin both rip the medical bandages from their new Byakugans and utilize the bare-bones basics of the Gentle Fist style they were able to copy with their Sharingans. They won’t go busting out Sixty-Four Palms today but, with the groundwork we’ve been laying for weeks in anticipation of their new Dojutsu, this much is possible.
“What the fuck!?!” Kidomaru exclaims in shock as we easily escape his threaded bondage. “Then I’ll just…” He throws Sticky Gold shuriken at our group, hoping to catch us unprepared after we just escaped the threads.
““Ice Release: Crystal Ice Swallow Snowstorm!””
Fubuki and Kin-Kitty double-cast their Ice shuriken technique, the birdlike projectiles intercepting Kidomaru’s throws. ““We’ll be your opponent.””
