Chapter 96: Aftermath Pt.IV

 

Riku arrived exactly on time at Yukiniku Q. It didn’t take long for him to find Yugao at a table. To his surprise she was not alone and her company wasn’t a silver haired fake cyclops jonin. No, with her were Anko, Kurenai, Gai and Asuma who for once wasn’t smoking. Probably because it was indoor and not a private room.

 

The lunch plan for Team Yukari seemed to have been modified a bit but Riku didn’t really mind. With the exception of Asuma, he was rather familiar with most of the people present. Making a shadow clone, he sent it to fetch Kakashi.

 

“Hello.” He greeted the group, taking the empty seat next to Yugao. It resulted in him facing Anko.

 

The snake mistress grinned at him. “Well, well, well. Shit, it’s been a while.”

 

“Thot.”

 

“I’ll never understand the relationship between the two of you.” Yugao shook her head.

 

“Mutual thirst from our chaotic energy.” Anko replied.

 

“Anko!” Kurenai’s voice sounded like a warning.

 

“What? It’s true!”

 

“Hm, no?” Riku denied prompting Anko to gape at the betrayal. “I just like your purple hair. Second best after Yugao-nee.”

 

Anko’s eyes narrowed dangerously. She grabbed her tits under her trenchcoat and pushed them up. “I remembered you liked those too.”

 

“Anko!”

“Hm, no.” This time his voice was full of certainty. “Ino did.”

 

Blinking, the pine-apple haired Kunoichi began to remember the three threesomes she, Riku and Ino had together years ago. “Oh, right… She did while you fucked  my ass.”

 

Asuma choked on his drink. Was it because of how outrageous Anko’s words were or because he wasn’t expecting them? Impossible to say. Kurenai however was in full authority mode. 

 

“ANKO! You have one more chance to behave!” She threatened.

 

“Fine!” She rolled her eyes then changed the subject. “Soooo… How did you beat that Madara bastard?”

 

This time it was Riku who blinked. “I… actually didn’t? I got my ass handed to me.”

 

“By who?”

 

Kakashi interrupted with his question as he came in. He picked an unused chair from another table and sat at the head of theirs.

 

“Madara.” Gai replied, sipping his beer.

 

“Ah! Yeah, he did get his ass handed to him.”

 

“Then how did we win?” Asuma asked.

 

Riku shrugged his shoulders. “I healed, went back to it but instead of going at it alone like any other ninja not from Konoha, I went with two teams. Naruto, Sasuke and I fought together and here we are.”

 

“You can do better with your story telling.” Kurenai remarked.

 

“I heard rumors of gold fingers?” Yugao shared with suspicion.

 

“Oh! I heard that one too!” Anko cut in.

Kakashi gave a side glance to his former teammate. So did Yugao. They knew Riku did something outrageous. Again.

 

A sigh escaped Riku’s lips. “It’s a new… un-youthful medical procedure?” He tried and received deadpan stares. Sighing again, he cracked. “Fine. I use a combination of my slow mo tags, sage chakra and iryoken, to deal with Madara like I usually deal with an Uchiha.”

 

The one lone eye of Kakashi, widened in both shock and fear. “Tell me you didn’t.”

 

“That would be lying.” A smirk found its way at the corner of Riku’s lips.

 

“What are you two talking about?” Anko interrupted. “What did you do? Kakashi, what did he do?”

 

“I… anal-hilated Madara. Sent him flying up in the sky and blew his body up.” Riku finally said and called for a waiter to make an order.

 

Anko had a laughing fit when she registered what Riku was saying. The simple mental image of Madara skyrocketing to the moon because he got his butthole tickled and lit on fire was simply too much for her to stay serious.

 

“Un-youthful, indeed.” Gai nodded. “But if it works, it works.”

 

“No wonder there are talks about gold fingers.” Yugao chuckled, remembering how Riku had dealt with Sasuke the same way during their match at the chunin exams all those years ago.

 

“I… have no words.” Kurenei shook her head in consternation but the corners of her mouth were turned up and showed her amusement.

 

“To my defense… That was the only thing which worked. The bastard kept regenerating and was basically immortal. Any seal I put on him? He broke. Really, he was the most annoying opponent ever.” Riku grunted.

 

Kakashi agreed with Gai. What works, works. They were shinobis and they cared little about honor or dignity.  One thing bothered him however because he found it overkill. “Did you really need to use slow mo seals?” 

 

“What do those do?” Asuma asked. 

 

He wasn’t familiar with it. Kurenai and Gai were because they had read the booklet about Riku’s seals during their team-up against Iwa. Anko because T&I used a few  for their interrogation session, sometimes. Naturally, Kakashi and Yugao, who had partnered up with Riku the longest, were well aware of the effect of this type of seal.

 

“They slow down the time of an area or of an object. Basically, when I busted his ass and his body exploded, it felt like hours for him.” Riku explained then turned to Kakashi. “Yes, I really needed to use them. I needed to do so much damage to him that his chakra would be focused on healing and not destroying the tags I applied which in turn allowed us to remove the bijus from him and make him mortal again.”

 

Riku used lightning manipulation to zap Anko who was choking from her laughter. She gave him a glare but said nothing as she wasn’t dying anymore.

 

Kurenai shook her head again. “The strongest Uchiha that ever lived, rivaling the Shodaime, defeated by a colonoscopy.”

 

“And that’s why the story is supposed to be relatively lowkey. Can you imagine how that would look in history books?”

 

“Kids will try the move.” Asuma got it right.

 

“Yeah.” Riku shook his head. “But more than that, it’s for the dignity of the village. The war for the world won by a poke to the ass? If people buy that to begin with, it would be a disaster.” 

 

No one could refute the argument and let the story drop. Asuma was the one who changed the subject. On his way here with Kurenai, he had seen Kushina wearing the Hokage hat while discussing with Mei and Gaara. Riku facepalmed with both hands. He, much like everyone else back then, had forgotten that little detail when the Uzumaki left the Hokage office. It wasn’t supposed to be the greatest secret around but at least it lasted as long as the few steps Kushina took to reach the door. It could have been less.

 

After sighing, Riku activated a privacy seal around the table and explained what was happening. Yugao and Kakashi were already in the know and as a result said nothing. Gai and Kurenai were surprised but it made sense to them. The former even commented that it was perhaps the most youthful decision a Hokage has ever made. Stepping down for a better future when Riku was still young and powerful. Anko joked about not being able to get new toys and favors now, and she didn’t mean the professional kind only. The grin on her face and the fact her foot was rubbing Riku’s groin suggestively told him all about what she had in mind.

 

Asuma wished his father had done so during his first term. He understood now, with hindsight, that Hiruzen had kept the hat so long because there wasn’t really any good candidate until Minato. Not because he wanted to. Any that could have taken his place turned out unsuitable for reasons outside their control. Tsunade was lost in grief and alcohol, Kakashi’s father was blamed for a mission he botched to save his comrades lives (which led him to ostracisation and his suicide) and Orochimaru, the one who could have learn the Will of Fire, had been unchackled and twisted by Danzo.

 

Any more talk about serious professional life was set aside when Anko turned to Gai with the smirk of someone about to create chaos. She gently elbowed him while talking about him and Mei. The pout on her face was very cute and hilarious when the green beast of Konoha said nothing about it and instead diverted the conversation to his eternal rival’s love life. Everyone expected a ‘Hm, you said something?’ from Kakashi, even Gai, yet the fake cyclops proved he had learned from Naruto regarding unpredictability.

 

“I’m going to propose soon.” He didn’t even bother to look up from his book, while using his chopsticks to put a piece of meat in his mouth through his mask.

 

The silence that followed was one of shock. 

 

“Shut up!” Anko said, disbelieving. “You? Getting married? There is no way!”

 

“Honestly, it’s not the most impossible thing to happen.” Asuma cut in.

 

Kurenai was of the same mind. “The dead walking or returning to life. Peace… Kakashi proposing to Shizune is not really that inconceivable, guys.”

 

“Need help with the setting? Or are you doing that in front of the icha icha aisle of a bookstore?” Riku joked.

 

“Mah~” He waved Riku away. “I already prepared everything. Thanks for the offer though.”

 

“Ugh! Everyone is getting hitched!” Anko threw her hands up in the air in some kind of surrender.

 

“Anko, you’re like one of the hottest Kunoichi of your generation.” Riku gave her a flat look. “The others being Kurenai and Yugao-nee. You could have any single guy you want.”

 

Asuma hummed in agreement as he took his wife’s hand across the table giving her a smile. Kurenai’s face struggled to stay stoic but the corner of her lips turned up slightly, proof that she was pleased by the compliment. Yugao simply laid a big smooch on Riku’s cheek.

 

“Riku has a point.” Gai offered his support.

 

Anko stood up, hands slammed on the stable. “Of course I am! Have you looked at me?!”  She waved at herself from top to bottom. “Who would say no to that?!”

 

“I’m married thrice over.” Riku retorted.

 

“Once and that’s more than perfectly fine with me.” Asuma added.

 

“You guys don’t count! And you!” Her finger was right on Riku’s face.

 

“I wasn’t married then.”

 

Anko’s shoulders slumped and she sat back down, head lowered in defeat.

 

“Fucking Orochimaru! Damn it! I’m good to fuck but not good for a relationship!”

 

Kakashi intervened. “Now that’s not true.” To everyone’s surprise.

 

“You do have the reputation of a… party girl.” Riku tried to be polite. “Someone who’s in for the fun but not for the hardship and complexity of a relationship.”

 

Gai used a bit less tact. “To be honest at this point, I think it’s less about you being Orochimaru’s student and more about the reputation you made.”

 

“Which isn’t that bad. If the guy is incapable of seeing underneath the underneath then he’s not worth it.” An idea suddenly crossed Riku’s mind. “You know… Now that I think about it… Iruka-sensei is still single.”

 

Anko’s eyes blinked several times, almost fluttered. She raised her head from the table and looked at Riku.

 

“Iruka?”

 

“He’s a good man.” Gai nodded sagely.

 

Kakashi spoke next. “Competent in what he does.”

 

“Harsh but-”

 

“Fair.” Kurenai completed her husband’s words.

 

They all knew the man in some ways and they didn’t have much negative to say about him.

 

“I think you should go for him, Anko.” Yugao finally spoke. “Iruka had been dedicated to the academy students ever since he took the job and he had few bright moments in his life.”

 

“You mean he could use a bit of chaos here and there?” Anko’s mood had shifted from depressed to calculating and almost excited. She always found Iruka cute in a rug way. All thanks to his scar across his nose. Unfortunately he was a workaholic and she didn’t want to touch that with a ten foot pole but that was when he was starting his teacher career. Now a decade after might be a bit different. “Worth a shot. See you later.”

 

Without saying anything else, she shushinned away.

 

“Not it.” The whole table said in unison.

 

“Ugh, Why?!”

 

Asuma had been a tad too late and it was now up to him to pay the number 2 of T&I’s bill at the end of the meal.

 

“I’m outta job and have three wives and children to feed.” Riku answered.

 

Kakashi had a good excuse. “Proposing to someone is expensive.”

 

“I’m moving out of my place, remember?” Riku didn’t miss Yugao’s words and hoped she made the decision to take him up on his offer.

 

Gai actually had a real excuse. “I just bought a fuinjutsu set of tools. It was quite pricey and money is a little tight.”

 

“I’m your wife.” Kurenai gave him a flat look.

 

Ignoring the snickers of his friends, Asuma groaned his acceptance of the situation.