“Why isn’t this thing glowing?” Moira shook the Lantern. “Burning? Lighting up?” She glared at the candle inside. “Do I need to say a magic word?” Her mind struggled to find one. “Illuminate? Do you recognise me or not?” She tried shaking it again.
“My love,” The Damned Princess looked her way. “Was it necessary to fight my Father?” He finally seemed to realise something wasn’t quite right.
Moira strained her face into a smile. “This is important. As I… Uh, said…” Her mind spun, trying to remember all the lies she had told him… Her. Whatever. “The important thing was…”
The ongoing fight between Elana and some kind of exhibitionist was too eye-catching. Her woman was losing, and she was stuck here with inbred idiots.
“Ah,” Moira decided to add more to the lies. They didn’t matter anyway at this point. “The important thing was that man.” She pointed at the man with hammers, who seemed immune to cold, much to Elana’s frustration. “I had a vision that he would appear and destroy our homes!” She squeezed out a fake tear.
“An evildoer!” The Princess gasped, grabbing the sword at her side but struggling to pull it out. The loss of muscle mass had made her much weaker and easier to bully.
“Sure, whatever.” Moira continued to rattle the lantern. “Let’s go with that,” She kicked the groaning king in the groin.
“Ah, father!” The Princess heard the sorrowful moan and spun around, confused about what to focus on. She wanted to help her father, fight the evil nudist, figure out the Lanter and talk to Moira.
“…Maybe I shouldn’t have made her dumber.” Moira somewhat regretted transferring Frederick’s brain into more appropriate and visually pleasing places
“Lady-”
Moira looked at the friendly Bishop, trying to get to her. His approach was blocked by the many fights. He had been constantly shouting lines about rituals and customs. Unfortunately, the ongoing battle had drowned out anything useful.
“My love, my Father is getting worse. He is very sick.” The Princess was now clutching the King’s hand.
“Oh, for the love of… Love?” Moira joined the groaning. She really should have known better than to kick a King’s royal jewellery. “No good deed goes unpunished. Ah, fuck it.” She gave up on figuring out how to make the Lantern light up.
Unfortunately, the situation in the hall was rapidly growing worse.
On one side, two dukes continued to slug it out, wind and fire interweaving and fighting for dominance. They both had numerous supporters who added to the chaos with their own lesser spells and duels.
On the other side, Elana and the Nudist played cat and mouse. Moira’s woman was using ice and snow to cover her each move while pelting the almost naked man with icicles and freezing wind.
“Ah,” Moira sadly exclaimed as the Nudist lost his undies during one of Elana’s bombardments. Her woman’s sharp icicles tore the tiny piece of clothing to shreds. “Ugly.” She averted her eyes, knowing Elana would understand.
“YOU DEGENERATE!” The Ice Queen was not happy.
“YOU DID THAT TO ME!” Neither was her opponent.
“What the fuck is she doing,” Moira wanted to facepalm. The Bishop was still far away, but she couldn’t wait much longer.
“Elana is losing,” The Princess was propping her father back on his throne. She was now absentmindedly looking at the fights.
Something told Moira the King would not survive much longer. He looked ready to die at any moment. Not that the place lacked people who wanted to quicken the process.
“Not our only problem right now,” Moira watched as wind blades tore King’s biggest supporter apart. The Duke’s flames were smothered, leaving only smoke and a bloody stump in his place. “Arkoly is coming.”
“I will fight!” The Princess banged her chest. “Don’t worry, father. I will protect you.” She made a baseless claim.
“… definitely too stupid,” Moira muttered. She didn’t think the guards who had failed to stop her would stop the wind-controlling Duke. “Don’t you have some kind of Royal magic to use in cases like these?” She dared to hope.
The King moved, his bloodshot, murky eyes peering at the rebel. He raised his hand, pointing at Arkaly. His sluggish mana moved.
And for a moment, Moira thought she would witness a miracle made by generations of rulers. Only for the King to limply collapse on his throne.
“Fuck this shit!” She had enough. Everyone was keen on disappointing her today. Even Elana couldn’t beat a damned pervert. And she disappointed herself by not being able to activate this damned Artefact.
Without any other options, Moira decided to use a more brute-force method. If praying and magic didn’t work, she would just use heat to light that candle.
Moira raised the Holy Artefact in the air and smashed it on the ground, shattering the glass and destroying part of the frame. The candle rolled out of the lantern, stopping at her feet.
“Huh,” She grabbed the candle and began channelling electricity between her thumb and index finger. “I can’t believe it just broke.” She hoped she hadn’t earned herself divine wrath in the process.
Moving the candle wick into the electricity, Moira tried to ignore the alarmed cry from the clergy, who were witnessing a heresy. “This better work, common!” She clutched her fingers around the half-spent candle. “Common, common.”
It didn’t work. The candle stayed unlit. Moira let out a frustrated cry, raising her hands in the air. She was angry at everything and channelled all her strength into throwing the damned candle away.
And just as she did, Moira felt something Divine move along her mana. The candle in her arms flickered, the wick suddenly growing brighter.
The candle flickered to light, filling the place with holy radiance. Heavenly hymns filled the air,r and solemn presence weighed on everyone’s shoulders.
A holy whisper travelled through the world, announcing the arrival of the Saintess, and everyone listened, quitting and looking at Moira.
“Uh,” She looked around, her hand still high in the air, presenting the candle. “Hi?” Moira hoped she didn’t look as stupid as she thought she was.
